he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Be still, my beating vagina.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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