Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
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I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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