dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So much rum. So many feels.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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