So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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