good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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