I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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