I heard we made out
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
