so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
