I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
