I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You can't just leave with hair like that
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
