Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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