11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
