I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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