Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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