Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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