It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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