dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
