i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
