Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
