Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
