There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
