Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize