ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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