You smell like stripper and shame
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
