you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize