is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
