you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
