i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
