yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Randomize
