I will die if light touches me.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
