i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize