Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
