So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
