what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize