she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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