you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
