After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
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Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
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Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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