how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
