I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
