the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize