So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
