Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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