Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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