Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
