yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
