Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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