I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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