Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
