dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
