shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
