I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
What drink are we having for lunch?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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