I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
