I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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