I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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