I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
