Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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