it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
