All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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