I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
