Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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