I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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