I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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