Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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