his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
