I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
