i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was petting her beer can
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize